Of Acrobats and Rock Monsters
by thefalconwarrior
Summary: Eight year olds are a little wild. And loud. And they love to talk. Bruce wonders if he's actually capable of taking care of one.


**_A/N_****: **Inktober Prompt #6: Drooling

...This one is...meh. Eight year old Dick is based off a seven year old, but close enough right?

* * *

**Of Acrobats and Drooly Monsters**

"But elephants are HUGE, so I don't know if that would work out after all…Bruce, do you think it would work? Bruce you were listening right?"

No, not really, Bruce decidedly did not admit out loud. Instead he grunted out an "Mm-hm." He knew there was a tunnel that came up near the Drake's place, now why couldn't he…?

Dick chuckled. "Well, I don't know Bruce. I think an elephant would be too BIG."

"You don't say," Bruce said. Damn it, he had a good memory but after so many tunnels and cave entrances they all started to look the same.

Dick had bounded ahead of him. To be honest, Bruce was surprised the eight-year-old was still here…and not complaining. Didn't small children get bored quickly and start complaining?

"A camel, now, that might work," Dick went on cheerfully. "Hey Bruce, did you know we used to have four camels at Haly's? Isn't that a lot of camels?"

It was nice to see he could keep himself entertained, Bruce mused. Dick was turning cartwheels down the cavern.

Wait.

"Stop that, Dick," Bruce snapped.

"Aw, but it's fun," Dick said, but he stopped and stayed vertical, thank god.

"We're in a cave. You could get hurt."

"I'm a professional," Dick announced proudly. "See, watch this Bruce!" and before Bruce could get a word out he'd scrambled up a stalactite and jumped off, flipping twice before landing on his feet, throwing his arms up in the air. "Ta-da!"

"Dick." The kid finally had his attention, he knew it, and he was milking it.

"Okay, okay," Dick said, but he didn't really sound put out, even though he was trying to. "No more tricks."

"No," Bruce agreed, and started to walk towards him.

"Bruce WAIT!"

Bruce froze, alarmed. "What?"

Dick pointed at the rows of stalactites and stalagmites between them. "You're about to walk into a monster's mouth! A hungry one." He wrinkled his nose, staring up thoughtfully at the ceiling. "And a drooly one. Yuck."

Bruce sighed and glanced up.

Drip. Drip. He never really noticed that sound, anymore.

And isn't that a pity? A voice that sounded suspiciously like Alfred's drawled in his head. He shook it off.

"That's not a…monster mouth, Dick."

"It is," Dick insisted, hands on his hips.

"If that were a mouth," Bruce went on, wondering how in the world he ended up in the middle of this conversation. "One of us would be inside."

Dick considered this for a moment, then brightened. "BRUCE! You're about to be SWALLOWED by a giant MONSTER! Don't worry, I'll save you!" and with that he grabbed a handful of stones off the ground and laid siege to a stalactite.

* * *

"I need to get back to work now, Dick."

"Aw, just a few more minutes?"

"No, Dick." The kid's face fell, and Bruce…felt bad. "Sorry," he added.

"It's okay," Dick sighed. And then, like a switch flipping, a huge smile lit up his face again. "But we can play again tomorrow, right? It's so COOL down here! Can we play in the caves again tomorrow, Bruce? Pleaaaasssse?"

And Bruce found he didn't have the heart to say no.

* * *

"LOOK OUT WALLY THERE'S A GIANT MONSTER BEHIND YOU!"

Dick's voice echoed through the tunnels to where Bruce and Barry were at the batcomputer.

Barry jumped, instantly alert, but Bruce spoke without looking up from the keyboard. "Stalactites and stalagmites," he stated, monotone. The Flash froze three feet away. Considering the man could move at the speed of sound, Bruce thought he'd done pretty well stopping the Flash in his tracks.

Although he had been hoping he'd be able to stop him before he got two feet. Oh well. Next time.

"What?" Barry was three inches behind him before Bruce could blink.

Is he getting faster? Hm.

"It's a game," Bruce explained, keeping his voice flat even as he smiled internally at memories of a laughing child flipping off cave walls and talking. And talking. And talking. (so much. So loud.)

"Imaginary monsters," he offered, and wait—was that—

"I'm sorry, can you say that again?" Bruce frowned and turned around. One look at Barry's face and he was instantly suspicious. There was a crazy grin stretched across the speedster's face—and he still looked like he was trying to stifle his extra mirth.

"Imaginary monsters," he offered, trying not to make it sound like a question. Barry's smile was growing wider.

"No," he said, then gasped and doubled over. "After—after that, you said—you said—"

Bruce just raised an eyebrow as the man doubled over, nearly choking on his laughter.

"You said—you said drooly ones!"

Dear god, had he really?

"You're hearing things, Flash," he said abruptly, turning back to the computer and trying to ignore Barry as he struggled to stop laughing from where he was now literally lying on the floor.

"My god, Batman said drooly—ha ha—wish I had a camera, would be wonderful blackmail—"

He sounded like 8-year-old Dick. Lord.

"You're delusional, Barry," Bruce decided.

He'd go through all the cameras and recordings soon as Barry and Wally left (though with the way things were going, he wouldn't be surprised if Wally ended up staying the night. Or the next day. Or the one after that as well. Who knows, maybe Dick would just disappear.

The two were inseparable. It was probably a good thing. It was good for kids to have friends. And best friends.

Right?

Lord, he was terrible at this.)


End file.
